I hadn’t realized that her words were still hurtful and that I had continued to feel wounded.
This past summer, I participated in an exercise class, led by a Physical Therapist and that was geared to people with Parkinson’s. In the middle of one of the classes, the instructor ran over to me, grabbed my right hand and said in her loud outside voice, “I hate that shaky right hand.” I was shocked and without a quick comeback, responded in my whispery inside voice, “I hate it too.” There was a pause. She then said in a quieter voice, “you know you can stop the tremor, but just temporarily.” Of course, I knew that I could stop the tremor if I focused on it 24/7, but I chose to focus on living life instead of scrutinizing my shaky paw.
I took the coward’s way out and simply withdrew from the class. Being preoccupied with “ouch—that hurts,” I missed that teachable moment.
I wish I would have said to her that if she wants to work with people with Parkinson’s, she’d have to get over her hatred of the shaky hands of her patients. She would encounter a lot of persons with shaky limbs if she chose to specialize in Parkinson’s.
I would have told her that we also hated our shakiness, that we didn’t choose to be shaky, and that it was exhausting for us to attempt to cover it up from people like her.
I also would have said that her approach of singling me out for my shakines was hurtful, not helpful.
I can’t imagine having this experience in an exercise class of everyday folks. As a result, I’ve decided to avoid exercise classes geared to those with Parkinson’s and only attend exercise classes for those WITHOUT Parkinson’s.
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.