Those of us with Parkinson’s, particularly with young onset PD, have plenty of reasons to be angry. Going from being strong, healthy and independent to having a chronic, progressive, debilitating disease such as PD, can be devastating.
I’ve been off and on with my anger about having PD for the past eleven years. Growing up with 16 years of Catholic education, I learned early on that angry words, behavior and even angry thoughts were sins. Being angry was lumped together with the commandment “Thou shall not kill.” The theory was if you get too angry, you might end up killing someone. Anger was one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Anger as a normal emotion and a fundamental part of the human condition is a relatively new concept for me. Most of us have been pissed off, upset, enraged, mad about something or someone, including ourselves. The comedian, Gilder Radner described her battle with ovarian cancer as being “in a room of anger” in her book, It’s Always Something.
I began making some headway along my PD path when I first acknowledged my anger. Once I owned up to it, it was time to take care of it. I didn’t want to live in a room of anger but wanted to find some ways to manage it. I realized that the stress of not managing my anger would only result in the exacerbation of my PD symptoms.
For the most part, I’ve been able to avoid the depression (anger turned inward) that often accompanies PD by attempting to convert my anger into action. For me, the following action steps have helped:
· Writing letters when I perceive an injustice in the PD community
· Volunteering to promote awareness and understanding of PD
· Co-founding a PD support group
· Writing a blog about living with PD
What steps might you take to help convert anger into constructive action?
As I remember there are 4 steps to accepting things that are difficult to accept. The first is denial, second it anger, third is grief, and then finally acceptance. After I found out I had PD at 46 yrs old (two years of symptoms prior) I was already over the first two steps because I've always told myself while growing up and through adulthood that if I contract something aweful my reaction shouldn't be "Why Me???" but rather "Why not me?" as I've had so many friends, family and associates go to the grave before me. I soon had two days of grieving and crying about my possible future with this disease and have accepted my condition. I'll face it with faith in God and my savior Jesus Christ. Bad things happen in this life that aren't God's doing. If I didn't look forward to my eternal reward and God's current intervention in my life I'd probably be hopeless. Keep your faith and God's help is there. Be strong. I hope you can get past the anger and move on to acceptance.
Posted by: Sean Hodge | August 18, 2007 at 08:53 PM