Meet the PD Warrior

Joe Ralph, author of the blog, Day By Day Adventures of the PD Warrior, lives with his wife and daughters in a small town in southwestern New York. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease four years ago at the age of 38, he has been a registered nurse for ten years. Joe started playing the piano at the age of four and received several scholarships throughout the years for his piano playing ability. He also plays several other instruments and is known in his own circle for his artistic ability, i.e. drawing and painting (his passion is aviation art). Joe aspires to become a published author.

Kate: If you have a demanding health or physical or emotional situation that you learned from, describe what you have learned by caring for yourself.

Joe: Parkinson's Disease has been a real eye opener for me. As a RN, I took care of people with the disease for many years before being diagnosed with PD myself. Once I was diagnosed, everything took on a whole new meaning for me. Taking care of someone, and being able to put yourself in their place because you know what it is like to experience the tremors, the loss of strength and balance, and the emotional tidal waves that go along with everything are two different things. Having this disease has brought me to a higher level of understanding and greater respect for all the people I take care of, not just the ones with PD. It is one thing to understand a disease using "book smarts" and quite another to go through it yourself.

Kate: If you have overcome a difficult obstacle, including handicaps, how did doing so help you develop your character and abilities?

Joe: For me, Parkinson's Disease came with two huge obstacles to overcome: the physical aspect of the disease, and the emotional aspect which was compounded by the fact that I had been suffering from clinical depression (which I hid from everyone) for years before ever getting any symptoms of PD.

Initially when dealing with the PD, I went about trying to deal with the physical aspects first, shoving the emotional barriers aside in an attempt to ignore them as I always done in the past. The problem with doing things this way was the fact that no matter what strides I made physically, it was never "good enough" for me which in turn added to the emotional weight I was carrying around. It soon became a vicious cycle.

The extra emotional weight made the physical traits worse, which then compounded my depression even further until eventually I had a break down - I almost committed suicide. Thank God I decided to get help instead. Once I dealt with all of my emotional turmoil and had things under control that way, it became much easier to deal with all the physical set backs PD sent my way. I learned a lot because of this.

Now when I talk with my patients I address their emotions first. Sometimes I even open the door by sharing my own emotional roller coaster ride with them. Having PD seems to have made me wiser in ways I never thought possible. It has certainly made me look at things from more of a philosophical point of view.

Kate: What particular character trait do you most value in yourself and how did you discover you had this trait?

Joe: To me, my most valuable trait is my ability to listen well, and empathize with others. It's a trait that I seem to have had all of my life. Ever since I can remember, all of my friends have come to me with their problems and I have always been able to help them look at things from a different angle, either by playing the "devil's advocate," or by simply telling them my opinion and reassuring them, building up their self-esteem. Now I seem to have an even greater ability to empathize.

Kate: Have you contributed to a person or group in a way that makes you proud?

Joe: One of the duties I have as a RN is to educate others, including fellow staff members. Several month's ago I was approached by the in-service coordinator for the facility where I work. She asked me if I would be interested in developing a presentation about Parkinson's Disease and presenting it to our PATHWAYS Class (PATHWAYS is a class we offer to our Nurses Aides as they gain more experience. These classes teach them how to be good mentors for their coworkers, and also enhances their leadership skills). She said she wanted me to do it, specifically because she was looking for someone that could put a spin on the program by giving them an insiders view of the disease. It was an offer I couldn't refuse.

The result was a Power Point presentation entitled "Who Am I?" The presentation not only provides information about PD, but is set up to make people realize that the patients they are taking care of are "real people." People that have their own story to tell, people that have seen and done fantastic things in their lives. People that have had their own hopes and dreams - and still do - people that have had their own identity stolen from them in some fashion or another by some disease. The presentation was originally intended to be a one time thing, but the response from those taking part was so huge that it is has now been incorporated into the training class that all nurse's aides must go through before they become certified at our facility.

Kate: Have you won an award or received a reward that made you proud?

Joe: The best reward I have ever received - one that I certainly don't deserve - is the family I am blessed with: my wife, my children, and as of one month ago my first grandchild. To say that I am proud of them does not even begin to describe how I feel. To say that I couldn't survive my PD Adventures without them is only the beginning of the story. They are the crutch that I lean on when I am feeling weak. They are the shoulders that I cry on when times are bad. They are my heart and soul. Without them I am nothing.

CHECK OUT JOE'S INTERVIEW OF KATE AT HIS BLOG AT DAY BY DAY ADVENTURES OF THE PD WARRIOR.

Comments

[sheila]

Kate,
I just came from Joe's place and wanted to tell you that I think you and Tom did a good job of talking about PD. I'm not personally touched by PD but have dealt with breast cancer for the last three and half years. Not the same but what struck me was the attitude you decided to have.

I don't know what books and resources are out there for families facing PD, but in my opinion you and Joe could write a wonderful and personal tale of the PD journey.

I read your profile and noticed that you have an English Springer Spaniel. We had one of these terrific dogs for 13 years and I miss her dearly. At some point I hope to find another. I wish you the best as you handle your life with PD.

[Marion]

Kate,

You and Joe have done a fantastic job with telling it like it is. In my opinion, and I believe I mentioned the same on Joe's blog...is that the two of you could think about collaborating on a book.

A huge undertaking, of course, but how satisfying it would be!